


Nothing to Say

by LeChatRouge673



Series: Cat's Song [8]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-19 22:15:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14882213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeChatRouge673/pseuds/LeChatRouge673
Summary: Takes place in the Songs universe, two years before the main story picks up.





	Nothing to Say

_9:39 Dragon_

He did not mean to eavesdrop; not really. He had needed to speak with Anora about trying to talk her husband out of creating a diplomatic incident with Antiva’s ruling trade guild by going through a competing guild that had offered them marginally better terms. There had been a time he would have simply gone to Theadosia: trade negotiations were not his strong suit but they were certainly hers, and she could have easily handled the entire mess and put Cailan back in his place, king or no. Of course, it was Loghain’s own fault that he _couldn’t_ go to Theadosia.

And it was, perhaps, a moot point, as he could currently hear her voice coming from Anora’s office. Their voices were pitched low, but the door also had not been closed completely. A rare oversight on their part: both women were usually incredibly circumspect in keeping their conversations confidential.

“I am sorry, Anora, but I can’t keep doing this to myself,” he heard Theadosia say, her voice leaden with what sounded like exhaustion and grief. “You know I love you. You are one of my best friends, and I will always be a phone call away, but I can’t keep coming here.”

“Thea,” Anora protested, “Why won’t you just talk to him? I swear to the Maker, the two of you are the most stubborn people I have ever met in my life, and that includes my husband.”

Theadosia laughed weakly. “I’ve managed to outrank Cailan, huh? Damn. But you know it is not that simple anymore, Nora. I’m trying, so hard, to just move on. I’m supposed to be getting married.”

_Married_. The word stung, all the more so because Loghain had once been crazy enough to think that she might have considered becoming _his_ wife. It had been a dream; a hope that had died the moment he had made the heartbreaking choice to put his country before the woman he loved. The woman he had never once found the courage to _tell_ that he loved.

“I know you are,” Anora sighed. “And I know you care about Cullen, but-”

“Don’t say it, Nora,” Theadosia warned, a desperate edge to her tone. “Please, just… I love Cullen. I do.”

“Not like you love him.”

“What the fuck did I just say, Anora?” Even from behind the door, Loghain could hear the tears in Theadosia’s harsh retort. “You think I don’t fucking live with that every single day of my life? You think my heart does not shatter every maker damned time I see him? But I am trying. I am trying to build something of my life, and I can’t do that if I keep waiting for a man who doesn’t want me.”

It would have been so easy, in that moment, to open the door. To walk in, to take her in his arms and apologize for ever leaving her, to beg her to come back. She would have been worth it; she had _always_ been worth everything. She thought he did not want her, but nothing could have been farther from the truth. Loghain loved her, and he wanted her desperately.

_But you know she deserves better. Let her move on. Let her heal._

“Thea,” Anora was pleading now, something she simply did not do. “Please, _please_ reconsider.”

“I’m sorry, Nora.” Theadosia’s voice was barely above a whisper now. “I love you, and you will always know where to find me, but I cannot come here anymore.”

Loghain heard Anora sigh. “I understand. Thea, listen, if you ever need…”

He did not stay to hear whatever else his daughter intended to say. It would be best, for all of them, if he was not there when Theadosia left. He had done enough damage, and he had no desire to make it worse.

That night, he and Anora ate dinner alone. Cailan was delayed by a meeting, and Loghain was more grateful than usual that he did not have to try and pretend he was in anything other than a surly mood. Anora was silent through most of the meal, but when the dishes had been cleared and she sat with a glass of wine, she studied him intently.

“Is there something you would like to say, Anora?”

She held his gaze for a long moment, her expression unreadable. Finally, she shook her head with a small sigh.

“No. I suppose there isn’t.”


End file.
